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This is part 7 of my blog commentary series on the book of Ephesians. In this post, we look at Ephesians 5:22–6:9 verse by verse. In this passage, Paul addresses the Roman household code. In a Roman household, the father was the one in charge. He had legal power over his wife, his children, and his servants - who lived in his house. The wife, children and servants were all expected to be subject to the father. As such, Paul’s readers would not have found Paul's instructions to the wives, children and servants shocking, even if they surprise the modern reader. What would have been shocking was Paul’s instructions to the fathers. The Roman household code didn’t require the father to love his wife, or to be gentle with his children. Furthermore, servants receiving a beating from their masters was not uncommon. But Paul instructs the husbands to love their wives, to not provoke their children, and to not threaten their servants. In so doing, Paul elevated the well-being of the wives, the children and the servants. I will also mention from now, that when this passage speaks of submission, it is not referring to doing something that is morally wrong, or that is contrary to God’s word. As Peter and the apostles said in Acts 5:29: ‘we ought to obey God rather than men’. So, let’s go through this passage verse by verse... Ephesians 5:22–24 NKJV 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24 Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. The wife is to submit to the husband in recognition that he is the one that Christ has made head in the marriage relationship. However, with the husband’s headship comes the responsibility to represent Christ to the wife. So Paul continues... Ephesians 5:25 NKJV 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, Headship doesn’t mean tyranny. Instead, headship as God intended is loving and self-sacrificial, and modeled by Jesus Himself. The word ‘love’ even by itself is powerful. Paul described love as follows: 'Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things' (1 Corinthians 13:4–7 ESV). In those verse, Paul is talking about the love that all of us are to have for one another. But it is the same Greek word for 'love' (agape) that is used in his instruction to husbands. Living in this kind of way is a tall order for anyone. And if we are honest, so is Paul’s instruction to wives. The truth is that neither husband or wife, will fulfill their role perfectly. At times we will all fail. And so an essential ingredient is forgiveness. Paul has mentioned that Jesus 'loved the church and gave Himself for her'. Paul now briefly leaves the marital relationship and tells us why Christ gave Himself for the church... Ephesians 5:26–27 NKJV 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. Why do you read the word of God? Why do you listen to the word of God being taught? According to these verses, one purpose of God’s word is to wash, cleanse and sanctify you (that means to make you holy). Do you realise, that you are supposed to be getting yourself ready for a wedding? Jesus is taking care of all the arrangements, and the wedding will take place when He returns. But your job is get yourself ready and to show up. So how do you get yourself ready? By allowing the word of God to cleanse you, so that you are without blemish. That way, you will look your best for the wedding. Paul continues... Ephesians 5:28–32 NKJV 28 So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. 31 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Paul instructs husbands to love their wives as their own bodies. After all, husband and wife have become ‘one flesh’. Jesus is again the basis for this. We are the body of Christ, and Christ loves us. In other words, we could say that Christ loves us as His own body. Furthermore, marriage is actually supposed to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church. And so Paul concludes his comments on marriage with the following... Ephesians 5:33 NKJV 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Paul now moves on to talk about children and parents... Ephesians 6:1–3 NKJV 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” Children are to obey their parents. The phrase ‘in the Lord’ indicates that such obedience is part of their Christian duty. Notice that to support this, Paul quotes from the law of Moses. Paul elsewhere taught that we are not under the law. So why does he quote from it? When Paul says that we are not under the law, he means that we are not to see the law as the means by which we can be made right with God. That can only be achieved by faith in Jesus. However, as demonstrated here, he still used the law as a source of moral guidance. The specific law he quoted here - ‘honor your father and mother’ - is the first commandment in the law of Moses that had a promise attached to it - ‘that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth’. This does not mean that life will be plain sailing. But it does mean that there is a special blessing for those who honor their parents. Paul continues... Ephesians 6:4 NKJV 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Not only do fathers have a responsibility to represent Christ to their wives, they also have the responsibility of representing Christ to their children. We can never think that children don’t matter to God - they do! Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven' (Matthew 19:14 NKJV). Paul continued... Ephesians 6:5–7 NKJV 5 Bondservants, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ; 6 not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 with goodwill doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men, Here Paul addresses the servants who were also part of their master’s household (this was quite normal in that time). Whilst we are not in that situation today, these principles do help us to understand how we are to function in the workplace. Paul says we are to be sincere - we are not to only work hard when we are being watched (‘not with eye-service, as men-pleasers’). Instead we are to do our duties in the fear of God (‘fear and trembling’), knowing that God is watching us, and that in reality, Jesus is our true boss and we are there as His servants. Notice that he said ‘doing the will of God from the heart’. Never think that at work you are not doing God’s work. Paul told these bondservants that by doing their jobs wholeheartedly, they would be doing the will of God. Paul continues... Ephesians 6:8 NKJV 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, he will receive the same from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free. There is no good deed that you do, in any context, that will go unrewarded by God. Sometimes people may not always recognise what we do. That’s fine. God does. And He will reward you for every good thing you have done. In our final verse, Paul said... Ephesians 6:9 NKJV 9 And you, masters, do the same things to them, giving up threatening, knowing that your own Master also is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him. It was quite something for Paul to tell the masters, 'do the same things to them’. In the first century Roman world bondservants were not regarded highly. After describing how bondservants were to faithfully serve, Paul says to the masters ‘do the same things to them’. In other words, even as you expect them to do you good, you do good to them. In the first century Roman world bondservants were not regarded highly. As such, this was a shocking thing for Paul to says. Even though bondservants may have an inferior status in the world’s eyes, they are equal to their masters in God’s eyes. Paul also says, ‘giving up threatening’. Often we may hold on to things that give us power and leverage. But Paul says to these masters, ‘give up threatening’. In those days a master could be very cruel to his servant, and beat his servant and do other horrible things. But Paul says give that up. He says, you have a Master in heaven, and He is not going to show you favour if you mistreat those entrusted to your care. Summary
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Stuart PatticoPastor of Joy Community Church, Milton Keynes. Archives
August 2023
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